Picture Album
A Clam for Maggie
Death's Midwife
Miracle Muskie
Tater Babe Trio - Episode One
Tater Babe Trio - Episode 2

by Ruth A. Souther

I am from before Time, born of Gaea into a state of pure energy. Ever watchful, I float in space, always aware, always curious, but without physical form. The Others work ceaselessly to create the patterns of life, in a place where there had been none. From these patterns, a need emerged and Gaea called to me.

        "Ilya." Gaea whispered. "Time has begun, and it is for you to carry on."

        She meant incarnate.

        I admit, I resisted. Even then, I knew it would not be easy. She did not speak of embodiment as an immortal, as the Others were. She meant organic form. Human. The first human.

        "Ilya." Gaea spoke again, "You are my beloved daughter. Only I would ask this of you."

        Like any mother, she did not ask. She told.

        A lump of clay, worked until soft and pliable. Sculpted with intention. Split in two. Expanded with the breath of life, and…there I was. I remember how heavy I felt. Weighted limbs and cumbersome torso with eyes that could see so very little.

        Before, with a thought, I could be on the other side of the Universe. Now, I could barely lift my head. Fingers and toes, arms and legs, all foreign, all moving in different directions. Hair and eyes, nose and mouth, and the noise! Chirping, rasping, clicking, rattling, thundering noises. I was both terrified and exhilarated. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before or since.

        I discovered the thunder I heard was my heart beating. The rush of wind was my breath. The rivers were my tears. I shrieked in panic and clawed at this new body that I did not understand.

        "Release me!" I pleaded to Gaea, "Release me back to the wild."

        The echo of my voice startled me. And a deeper voice answered.

        "Stay, for we are of each other."

        My eyes began to focus, and I saw before me another, made of the same feeble flesh and bone as I, and yet, different.

        "I am Anyal," he said.

Anyal was not his real name for I had known him before, in the realm of spirit. He was an entity with thought, but no body. He, too, had forsaken his freedom for this brave new world created by our mother. How could I refuse to stay with him? We had been created together.

        We were both frightened and we clung together.

        We lived in a place surrounded on three sides by endless water. Our land was filled with trees and plants in brilliant colors, an untamed, rich growth that smelled of warmth and dark soil.

Anyal and I were happy. The earth fed us on succulent fruits, roots and nuts. Never did we slay an animal to feed ourselves for they lived peacefully with us. Anyal and I, we explored all, including each other. We knew the pleasure of our bodies and delighted in each other. Our energy was equal, without jealousy, and yet still with that wildness of heart. I loved Anyal. I loved him from the first breath. I know he loved me.

        Yet, he betrayed me.

        Is it important that you know how? I think not. But imagine your deepest wound, when your blood runs in rivers, and you weep in desolation. That is my betrayal. When there is nothing left to do but go into the wild, when the unknown is better than the known.

        I came into this body to be the mother of all humanity. I left when no child I birthed would live. I went into the wilderness of my own grief and betrayal, with horrendous lies echoing throughout the Universe. I had only the consolation of my own strength, coupled with bitter tears that eventually washed away the pain.

        The only one who believed in me was Gaea. She cradled me in the boughs of her trees, warmed me with earth’s fire, soothed me with the waters of her womb, and caressed me with her breath. I began to believe again, believe that there was hope for humanity, and for myself.

        What happened was all for a reason.

        There was only one thing I refused her, even though I was grateful. I refused to take my place as one of the Others when my time came. Instead, I returned to the organic. I chose to become human.


        I know Anyal looks for me, but he will not find me.

Ruth Souther, Author of the Immortal Journey series